What was he thinking? Head in the clouds: While camping in California’s Mojave Desert, artist Trevor Corneliusien, 26, chained his ankles together to draw an image of his legs, but when he finished, he realized he did not have the key to unlock the chain. He told police that he hopped around the desert for 12 hours before arriving at a gas station. Dumb Criminals.

According to police, Frank Traina’s attempted armed robbery of a Chinese restaurant in Levittown, N.Y., in December went awry when the owner realized that Traina’s realistic-looking gun was leaking water from the barrel.

Matthew John Wyman, told to recite the alphabet at a roadside drunken-driving stop in West Roxbury, Mass., in November, asked the officer if he could please substitute a math problem instead. (Answer: No.) .

In December, Auckland, New Zealand, police said they arrested a man who had robbed a bank but then, disappointed at the size of the loot, telephoned the bank manager and ordered him to stand out front with more money, which he would grab on a drive-by. (The robber never showed up, but police traced the phone call.)

‘Til next time, Tricia