A man in Des Moines, Iowa, made an official complaint to police that his son assaulted him, leading to his son’s arrest on the charge of domestic assault.
The dirty details were revealed during the investigation. The mans son had been angry at him during an argument, and he chucked a bag of Cheetos in his direction. The bag hit the fathers glasses, causing them to bump up against his nose and cut him.
Other damage included Cheetos dust all over his shirt.
A new warning label will henceforth be placed on all Frito Lay products warning against use as a weapon.
This brings new meaning to the term Food Fight!
This wasn’t the way this fear of flying class was supposed to end up curing their students fears- but for some this accident worked.
A Fear of flying specialist, lynn Walsey said “It was the best thing that could have happened,” Dr. Walsey’s class - which helps students overcome their terror of commercial aviation - went down in bad weather on the outskirts of Fort Dodge, Iowa.
Shortly after take off the problems began, when both engines aboard Walsey’s airliner flamed out. “No worries there,” Captain Barris Hamilton announced to the jittery fliers. “Planes like ours can glide without incident for fifteen minutes or more.” Hamilton restarted the engines but immediately lost hydraulics to the flight control surfaces. “And the landing gear” said Captain Hamilton. “Fortunately, flights land safely without gear all the time.”
Can you imagine being on this plane as it landed, sparks and metal flying as the jet made a belly landing, skidded from the runway, and finally plowed into a Fort Dodge “Chamber of Horrors” amusement center, where animatronic ghosts leaped at passengers through holes in the fuselage.
Passengers almost unanimously regard the class as a success. “I think it’s safe to say I’m cured,” said one happy student. “I’m really looking forward to my flight home.”
Sorry I don’t have a picture of the idiot, but this is what he looks like in my imagination:
Now, here’s the story
What an idiot!
Anti-abortion protester David Robert McMenemy, 45, allegedly scoured the Midwest looking for an abortion clinic. He found a women’s clinic in Davenport, Iowa. Once there, the Michigan resident allegedly drove his car through the front of the clinic, doused it with gasoline and set it on fire. “McMenemy hoped his actions would stop or disrupt the clinic’s activities and save some babies’ lives,” federal indictment papers note.
There was just one problem with his plan: the clinic does not perform abortions, but rather offers pre-natal care to poor women. “We think he intended for it to be a suicide but he found out burning would be too painful,” said the county prosecutor. The clinic suffered about $170,000 in damage and was closed for weeks.
…So pretty much all he accomplished was to stop or disrupt the clinic’s activities and risk many babies’ lives. What an idiot. Isn’t he supposed to be prolife if he’s an anti-abortionist? He could have killed someone in the clinic and seeing as how events turned out he’s put the lives of several unborn children and their mothers at risk.
