Isn’t this terrible?

A substitute kindergarten teacher in Amanda, Ohio, was so fed up as she listened to four overly-chatty boys. So she silenced them by using clothespins on their mouths.

Ruth Ann Stoneburner was permanently suspended after she admitted to attaching the spring-type clothespins on the kids’ upper or lower lips.

Now this one is really odd - A clergyman dubbed the “knicker-vicar” has come to the rescue of a small New Zealand town after the local clothing shop stopped selling women’s underwear. I’d really love to know why a clothing shop would stop selling womens underwear - particularly if they were the only ones in the area to sell them?

Reverend Gary Husband is starting a “knicker run” from his small North Island town of Inglewood to the nearby city of New Plymouth. “We get all the essentials here - apart from the ladies’ essentials,” Husband told Radio New Zealand.

Some how the problem was revealed in discussions after morning communion recently and Husband snapped into action, proving he could fulfill more than spiritual needs. I’d love to know how it was revealed perhaps a woman confessed “Reverend, I’m afraid I won’t be able to attend services anymore because I’m out of Knickers.”?

The first run is planned before Christmas, offering transport for women to travel to New Plymouth to stock up on delicates. That’s a long time to wait for new knickers isn’t it?

Oh, don’t worry, Husband said that the knicker run would not be restricted to followers of his Anglican denomination.

Did you know that Scott Adams, the cartoonist that creates Dilbert, is recovering from spasmodic dysphonia, a bizarre medical condition in which the brain areas controlling speech get weird, on and off. When it gets weird it can really get weird, sometimes victims can speak only in falsetto, or only right after sneezing.

Scott Adams spasmodic dysphonia allowed him only to be able to speak when reciting poetry or when he pinched his nose. Now isn’t that odd? Apparently one person in 10,000 suffers from this, usually in mid-life.

Adams seems to have recovered, but it’s quite an interesting coincidence that his Dilbert character has no mouth.

She was just brushing her teeth

A woman suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.

Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at home when lightning struck the building.

She said: “I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.

I don’t remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had traveled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.

It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don’t remember much at all.”

Doctors at the city hospital where she was treated for burns to the mouth and rear said: “The accident is bizarre but not impossible”.

Of course it’s bizarre. Have you ever heard of such a thing happening before? I guess this is a lesson to all of us. Don’t brush your teeth (or shower, bathe etc) during a lightening storm. Or perhaps don’t bend down to sip water from the tap, use a plastic cup instead.

She was wearing rubber bathroom shoes at the time and so instead of earthing through her feet it appears the electricity shot out of her backside,” a medic told local television news. Ok, so I guess if you really must brush your teeth during a storm where you rubber soled shoes then. You might still get hurt but not as badly.

“It appears to have earthed through the damp shower curtain that she was touching as she bent over to put her mouth under the tap. If she had not been wearing the shoes she would probably have been killed by the blast.”

I wonder how long it will take the poor girl to recover. I wonder if her friends will call her “Lightening Butt” from now on?