Why do so many people expect something for nothing?
I had a very bad experience a couple of weekends ago. I’m not going to go into all the details. I’ll just say that I provide a free service to people and over the last few weeks I’ve gone around and asked for a little more feedback and participation and it just seems to have all backfired on me.
I actually got quite mean spirited comments and emails that basically wonder how I “dare” ask them to participate. Well … duh .. it’s one of the rules of the service that I’m providing.
It’s upsetting. I felt like shutting down the service that I’ve been offering for approximately 10 months, and when the comments started to get a bit nasty I even started to think, to hell with it. I felt like shutting down that website too.
The service that I’m providing is absolutely free yet it actually costs me a little bit of money to provide. Don’t I have a right to require that people follow the very lax rules?
I’m in a very people are assholes kind of mood as I write this. Hopefully that changes.
Then yesterday, one of the mailing lists I run broke out into flames over a non-list topic. It took me into today to settle the list down and get it back on track again. This again is yet another free service that I provide as I run four mailing lists.
On another forum that I was visiting between naps and bleary eyed wakefulness I theorized over something that might affect the sites terms of service and had my words twisted around by two people, one of them an employee of the company I was discussing. It made me feel like leaving that forum all together. I don’t want to do that though as I learn of interesting things on that site, get some help with my sites when I need it, and I also offer some help and advice to others from time to time there too.
I actually got up and checked my calender yesterday to find out if there was going to be a full moon. Honest. I mean when I work in the ER you wouldn’t believe the crazy stuff that happens on Full Moon nights. I figured that perhaps that phenomena had invaded the net too.
I get really frustrated when things like this happen. I put a lot of myself into the things that I do, and many of the things that I do I’ve created with the benefit of others in mind. I often don’t get all that much out of these things for myself (the mailing lists in particular). So when people start turning things around, blaming me for things, or begin to take advantage of the situation it just makes me so angry.
How about you? Do you ever do things for people and end up feeling like you’ve been taken advantage of? or perhaps like my experience yesterday, have a bunch of things that go wrong all at once?
wow! Sounds like you have really had it hard. I admire you for sticking in there and toughing it out! Just know you have friends in the blogosphere that will read and comment on all the stupid self centered that are giving you a hard time. If it were me, I’d tell them all to hit the road. Lucky for them you are a much more kind hearted individual! Good luck with all of it and I will keep you in my prayers!
Yes. Mostly I feel like everybody’s toilet/doormat/garbage can. Take your pick. If they have shit in their lives, they come and shit on me to feel better. It’s annoying. And hurtful.
Let it go. You are right, some people are assholes.
Well, I stumbled into the fire on the first topic–but am cryptically intrigued by the rest! hmmmmmm, anyone I know??? Just kidding! Hope it gets better for you–I commented on your “cinders & ashes” blog, loved your picture!! Good luck tomorrow!!
All the freaking time.
That’s true, Tricia. Many expect to pay cheaply for something good or get it for nothing. Really, one gets what they pay for!
Hey Tricia–
You’re singing to the choir here! Not only do I understand the feeling of being taken advantage of and trying to meet the needs of others “out of kindness” and then getting shot down for doing so because it doesn’t meet expectations…
But, I understand the full-moon thing too!
Sorry you’re feeling like this. Sometimes it takes a patient, a family, or a student that I didn’t expect anything from at all to take the time to thank me for something that I deemed “routine” to shock me out of the “I hate humans” mode and back into– “I really do make a difference” mode
I’m here with you girl!
Yeah, I hate it when that happens. i love helping people out, it gives me a nice warm feeling, but when it gets to a point where something goes wrong and then suddenly it’s your fault; that I just hate.
Only today I was helping someone with an IT project for their course at uni. I suggested to the guy that maybe he should try doing a bit himself to learn something and all of a sudden I’m the bad guy coz I want him to fail. Sucks huh ?
I don’t have that problem so much as my wife does. I married one of the kindestr most loving person you could possibly imagine. Over time I have watched every single one of her “friends” rain on her parade.
My Scorpio self says ditch ’em, but that’s not how she operates. She believes you have to be a good friend to get good friendship in return. I honestly think she just needs to find some different friends who appreciate her efforts.
I’m sorry that happened. =( It’s easy for me since I don’t do anything for other people ever. =P
All the time. All of the time, sister. I actually go as far as to build fully functional, one-of-a-kind business websites for several friends and their expectations often go so far as to assume I’m on some sort of imaginary 24-hour crisis hotline. I’ve given subdomains to friends and spend days untangling messes they’ve made with the code even after I’ve told them specifically waht not to fiddle with.
And yet, i keep doing it.
Oh sweetie! And then I had a total melt-dwon last night and sent you a whining email telling you I wanted the world to stop and let me get off! I’m so sorry!
I know firsthand just how kind and generous of heart you are. I hope you’ll be able to ignore the jerks and whiners (even me!) and miscreants and start enjoying your blogging again, my friend!
absolutely. I severely limited whom i do things for now because a lot of people expect you to do things for them but when it comes down to it and you ask them for something they give you a look like you just asked them to borrow a few million.