I think I married Ned Flanders from the Simpsons – Help!

Ok that does it. From this day forward my husband, Chris, is no longer allowed out in the neighborhood!

The problem? I’m married to Ned Flanders! (Simpsons) Really … I am.

There is simply no neighbor that he won’t stop and talk to. For hours at at times! I’d swear I’ve even heard him greet a few of our neighbors with “A hi diddly ho neighbor!”. Seriously, Chris is Ned Flanders.

Earlier today, while I was upstairs having a shower, Chris must have taken the dog outside for a walk. Just as I was getting out of the shower I heard Chris come in the front door and he yelled up “Are you done with your shower” and I said just about – still wanting to do some after shower stuff like dry my hair etc. He told me that the parking people and police were on the street next to us – where we’d temporarily parked our car to allow some new neighbors to get their appliances into the house next store. So he was going to find out what was happening and move the car. (As it turned out a van was blocking the drive way of some other new neighbors who were trying to move into their new house.)

He had just let the dog in without putting her in her crate so I hurriedly dried myself off and came downstairs to watch the dog for a few minutes until Chris came back. Midnights a good dog, but she can quickly get her self into trouble if she’s not watched!

He didn’t come back for over an hour. Maybe an hour and a half. In that time while I was waiting for him (and my hair was air drying itself) I saw him outside talking to our next door neighbor (the one putting in new appliances) and later when I poked my head outside to try to find him (and froze!) I could hear him around the corner talking loudly to some other new neighbors that were just moving in.

At that point I was ready to tell him to bring the cell phone with him from now on whenever he went outside for just “a minute”. I mean, this has been going on for years! I forgot to suggest it though.

So we get to this evening. I’m not feeling so hot and Chris suggested we get some take out food for dinner so I wouldn’t have to cook. (see he’s not all bad! LOL) He even took the cell phone with him when he went to take the dog for a short walk and then was going to take her with him when he went to the restaurant to pick up our food.

Well … that short dog walk was about 45 minutes! Yep, he was talking to neighbors again. He did manage to find one with a new puppy so at least Midnight got to play with another dog while he yakked. He had the cell phone with him but he didn’t turn it on! I tried calling to tell him what takeout food I wanted as I’d changed my mind, but that was a no go.

When he finally came back to start up the car and drive to the restaurant he discovered that the car had about half an inch of frost INSIDE it! Probably his hot breath condensing on the glass from when he moved the car earlier.

So now the dog is inside with me keeping warm and he’s finally off to the restaurant to pick up our take out food.

Now keep in mind that it’s absolutely freezing outside today. This is a guy that can stand outside talking with people for over two full hours today at -13 Celsius (8.6 F), but really -20 Celsius (-4 F) with the windchill! Now that’s cold. Think of how much time he spends outside talking on nice days?

Anyone else married to a “Howdy Neighbor” talkity talk kind of person that you always seem to be waiting for? Or do you have a friendly talkative neighbor who might be quite a bit like my Chris?

Don’t get me wrong. Chris is a great guy and everyone he meets seems to really like him, but it’s kind of frustrating on my end when I’m waiting for him to come back so I can serve dinner, go out shopping or simply dry my hair after being asked to quickly leave the shower! Arghhh!