Random Thoughts about life in general, living in the big city of Toronto
This weeks photohunt theme is Wrinkled and I love nothing more than the wrinkles that appear when my Lab Puppy lifts her ears.
See how the skin at the top of her head is wrinkled in this photo?
I took this while we spent some time in the garden earlier today.
I think Midnight was trying to stalk a bug or something. It certainly looks like she’s watching something intently doesn’t it?
My aunt died a couple of weeks ago. I never said anything because I was feeling bad that I couldn’t go to her funeral. My husband couldn’t get the time off work to drive to Ottawa and my older brother who’d I normally get a lift with in cases like this was working out of town at a convention so he couldn’t go to the funeral either.
Yes I could have gone on my own or perhaps taken a bus with my sister, but it was just too far to travel with my health being as poor as it is these days.
So earlier today I got a call from my cousin – my aunts niece. Her mother was my aunts sister and both of these ladies happened to have married my fathers brothers so there’s a very tight connection between those two families.
Anyway .. I digress. My cousin is still very torn up about the death of my aunt. She was present when my aunt died and she proceeded to tell me just about every detail. This being only eight days from the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death (Aug 28th) made hearing details that were reminiscent of what I experienced with my mother made me really sad.
It also made me angry. This was the cousin that told me so many times how close she was to my mother, yet in the three months that my mother was in the hospital dying she could bear to bring herself to visit her because it would just be too hard. Now she’s wallowing in her sorrow and feeling traumatized over what she witnessed and experienced with my aunt.
I’m angry at her for deserting my mom and I guess deserting my brothers, sister and myself yet calling today and discussing stuff that she had to have known would make me think of my own mother and everything that I experienced five years ago.
Chris and I were the only ones able to be with my mom when she died and I’ll never forget that experience. Yet it was marred by the fact that I was trying to call my only brother who happened to live in Ottawa to tell him our mother was dying and he said to me “Oh the doctors think that all the time- they’re probably wrong” and, as I sat by my mom’s beside watching her moan and in pain and go through Cheyne Stoke breathing patterns (that awful gasping or lack of breathing for a moment followed by a gasp that makes you think over and over again the the person has just passed), I said to him “I’m a nurse, I’ve been with people when they’ve been dying. Our mom is dying. Leave work and come to the hospital”. He still didn’t believe me and didn’t come until I had to call him back and tell him that she had died.
This whole conversation with my cousin this afternoon not only left me feeling down and depressed all day but it also made me realize that I’m still very angry with my brother. I’m mad at him for what he did when my mom lay dying before me and for several things that happened later. I thought that I had finally let it go, but I guess I haven’t and I think now that I probably never will.
So … I guess I’m having a bad day. Oh and the migraine that I was suffering from a week or so ago seems to be back. Ughh.
The one thing that I did learn today that I didn’t know was that my aunt was a big traveler. I knew that, but I didn’t know that she’d seen every US State! She completed her mission just at the end of May this year when she went on one of those Alaskan cruises with her two sisters (0ne of whom is my other aunt – I guess my only aunt now on my dads side of the family). I’m not sure if she saw all of Canada. I didn’t think to ask, but I suspect that she didn’t see every province and territory.
Have you had a death in the family that because of the actions of others left you with bad feelings that you might not ever be able to forgive or forget?
You know, my cousin made me feel so bad thanks to her bring up memories and feelings that I try to keep buried that I was more depressed than I ever get with my Crohn’s and other complaints that make me feel ill almost every single day. Thanks cousin.
Did you happen to watch Thursday nights episode of Flashpoint? If you haven’t seen it you should as it’s a great show. It’s a combination Canadian and US production, I believe, and it’s filmed right here in Toronto.
FLASHPOINT is a drama that depicts the emotional journey into the tough, risk-filled lives of a group of cops in the SRU (inspired by Toronto’s Emergency Task Force). It’s a unique unit that rescues hostages, busts gangs, defuses bombs, climbs the sides of buildings and talks down suicidal teens. Members of a highly-skilled tactical team, they’re also trained in negotiating, profiling and getting inside the suspect’s head to diffuse the situation to try and save lives.
If you happened to have seen Thursdays show you’ll remember it was about a teenage girl who was being attacked by a girl gang. Near the end of the show the girl was filled with despair and had decided to commit suicide so she ran to the top of the large mall that she’d been in (the Eaton’s Center, but they called it the Paradise Mall on the show). The only thing is that she really wasn’t at the mall anymore. She was on the building across the street.
See the open scaffolding under the LG sign, on the right of the sign or maybe it was on the far left? That’s where the girl was when she was thinking of jumping. That building is the Gap store across from the Eaton Center at Yonge and Dundas.
Chris and I used to work right in that area. If you know Toronto at all, we worked in the tall building on Dundas Square – a tiny little street between Yonge and Victoria that’s opposite the Eatons Center. We worked and well first met there when we were both jewelers. That’s my husband in the forefront of the picture in the grey shirt with his back to the camera. He’s probably just on the corner of Dundas Square in this picture.
There’s always been lots of television shows and movies filmed in Toronto (I’ve even been in a few! When I first started my jewelery business I supported it by being an extra in commercials, movies and TV shows quite frequently), but seeing scenes shot in areas that I’m very familiar with is kind of cool.
It’s also kind of neat to spot their work around, like when they are driving down a highway or street and in the next scene their still driving, but it’s in the opposite direction on the highway or a different street, but the viewers are supposed to think it’s the same direction or same street. If you have movies or shows filmed in your city you might have noticed little things like that too.
Have you had a chance to see Flashpoint yet? I think it’s one of the hot new shows of the summer and I hope that I don’t have to wait until next summer for it to return once this season ends.
Clematis Jackmanii
I think Clematis Jackmanii is probably one of the most popular Clematis plants. They are hardy, easy to grow and as you can see they produce lovely large purple flowers.
I grow several clematis, but this is my oldest and biggest. I grow it behind my largest rose, William Baffin. Each year I have to untangle it from the rose as it wants to grow on and through it, but I prefer the clematis to grow along the high wooden fence behind the rose. I stretch out it’s vines and it makes a nice leafy background along the top of the fence and when it blooms (two or three times a year) the fence is highlighted by it’s large purple flowers.
Gardeners, Plant and Nature lovers can join in every Sunday, visit As the Garden Grows for more information. GTS participants remember to check in at As the Garden Grows each week so that we’ll know you made a new post!
This weeks Photohunt theme is colorful and this is the most colorful photo of my city, Toronto, that I’ve ever taken!
I took this photo last year, in early September while on a Toronto dinner boat cruise with my family. We were all gathered together for a week long reunion and this was one of the activities that we’d planned.
The photo is a little blurred because of the boats motion. The water was a little choppy that evening. I’d also only had my Canon SLR EOS 30D camera for a little under a month, not to mention the fact that I don’t take all that many night shots. It’s something I still have to perfect.
I like the way the lights of the CN Tower and the lights along the lakefront are reflected in the water of Lake Ontario.