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Real life – You, Me and Dupree – Part II

June 21, 2007 by Tricia

This is a continuation of our real life story of You, Me and Dupree – Part II. If you haven’t read Part I I suggest you read it first.

(continued …)

Mr. Z wore on my nerves and his presence was taking a toll on Chris too.

Chris was going to Devry at the time and having a very hard time with a couple of his courses. He’d also just discovered that he was dyslexic and he was a bit depressed about it. All the partying, drinking and too much time being taken away from Chris’ studies was hurting Chris. He was definitely depressed, but he was starting to get better before Mr. Z came along. Z’s presence did not help. Not a bit.

Lets say at some point Mr. Z became our constant house guest. By this time Chris and I didn’t want him around at all, but he was there … all the time. He was so pathetic we couldn’t turn him away no matter how much we didn’t want him to stay. Remind you of a certain movie?

I sat down with Mr. Z one night after Chris had gone to bed and told him what was going on with Chris and how his presence was causing us both a great amount of stress. Mr. Z agreed to only come around when he had his opera practices and he’d give us a break.

He also agreed to help around the apartment when he was around, pay for his share of groceries, pay for the damages to our furnishings that he’d caused and since he’d been pretty much living in our apartment for three months or so – pay part of the rent. Of course … that never happened. I figure he still owes us a couple thousand bucks.

Everything he said was a false promise. He was good for a few days, but then went back to his disruptive partying ways.

Chris and I had to bail him out of trouble a few times too. He was constantly losing his wallet. For a guy who’d purposely leave his wallet at the apartment when it was his turn to pay for something he sure lost his wallet in a lot of different places.

I don’t know how many times we got calls from him late at night. He’d be stranded somewhere because he’d lost his wallet. We’d have to go and pick him up.

The final straw came when it happened for at least the 10th time. He called us at about 3 am one morning and we refused to help him. We’d had it.

He eventually showed up at the apartment all hurt and upset that we’d abandoned him and left in a huff. As if everything was all our fault. Right … we’d put up with way more than most people would all because we’re too nice to say go to hell.

We didn’t hear anything from him for about four months. We slowly got our lives back together and Chris resolved some of his problems with his studies and the depression that his schooling and his dyslexia diagnosis had caused was really beginning to lift.

Then one day in November I came home from work. I’d had an argument with Chris earlier that day over some stupid little thing. When I got home I had a bad feeling. The apartment just felt too empty. I don’t think there was anything missing. It just felt empty. I was overcome with a feeling that I’d lost my husband – that he’d left me.

I was half right. He’d been abducted by another friend and taken to his sisters home! Seriously!

His friend had invited him to drive with him to a small Southern Ontario town to deliver a new (used) car to Chris’ sister. Chris went because it was a chance to see his family. As far as he knew it was just to deliver the new vehicle and then return home that night. He had school the next day after all.

I didn’t know any of this of course because it’d had apparently been a spur of the moment thing with Chris friend calling him up and inviting him to help him with the car. Chris didn’t call because he thought he’d be home by the time I got home.

I didn’t find out what happened to him for about 24 hours. My intuition was correct. When that bad feeling had come over me I’d called my sister and told her that I thought I’d pushed Chris over the edge and that he’d left me.

Hours went by and I didn’t hear from Chris. My sister came to stay with me by that time.

Then the phone rang and it was my brother in Vancouver! Chris family had called my brother in Vancouver to tell him that Chris and I were in terrible trouble and that he should help me. Huh … if I’m in so much trouble why not call my sister who lived a few miles away rather than someone that lived 2000 miles away? Huh?

I still didn’t know what was going on with Chris. All I knew was that he was with his family and he was there because a “friend” of ours had told his parents that Chris and I had a suicide pack! Guess who the friend was?

Mr. Z himself who hadn’t seen us for four months!

Of course no such thing was going on at all. In fact things were better than ever without the constant stress of Mr. Z in our lives and Chris resolving some of his troubles at Devry.

Chris’ mother and sister wanted Chris to be committed to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation before they’d let him return home to me. Chris’ friend that had used him to deliver a new car was in on the abduction of course. They didn’t tell Chris what was going on until they got him out of Toronto and surrounded him.

If they’d just sat down and talked to us about their concerns none of this would have ever happened, but instead they came up with an elaborate plan to literally kidnap their own son.

Now … if I really had been suicidal (I most definitely wasn’t!) don’t you think that would have put me over the edge leaving me along like that wondering what had happened to my husband? I guess they didn’t really care what happened to me eh? Nor how much it would hurt Chris if something were to happen to me.

I’ve written out the full story in an earlier post that I did perhaps in April or so of 2006. I’m not going to look for it or link to it It’s something I needed to write, just like this is I suppose.

Needless to say I’m still very mistrustful of my in-laws and didn’t even speak to them for about a year and a half after they did that.

I speak to them now because they are Chris’ family, but nothing will ever make me trust them again.

I don’t speak to Mr. Z even though he shows up at Chris’ parents house at Christmas time and for other occasions. Oh and get this, Chris’ family doesn’t understand why I’m still upset with Mr. Z … yet they refuse to talk about the incident themselves so nothing will ever really be resolved.

In the movie You, Me and Dupree – Dupree actually kind of fixed all the problems he caused. In our case, our Dupree – Mr. Z never did fix the problems he caused. He just made everything worse, and in fact almost caused Chris and I to break up! Perhaps this was his form of revenge?

Watch out for the Dupree’s in your life as they can be dangerous!





Filed Under: Family, Home and Lifestyle, Life with Chris, Movies, Relationships and Dating, Socializing, Toronto Tagged With: abducted, brother, Canada, Chris, christmas, depressed, depression, Family, help, home, Hospital, house, husband, in law, kidnapped, lied, lost, missing husband, mother, mother in law, MR Z, not suicidal, over reacting, pact, Party, revenge, serious trouble, sister, sister in law, Stress, suicidal, Toronto

Real life – You, Me and Dupree – part 1

June 21, 2007 by Tricia

Yes I know the movie’s a year old but I just saw it for the first time last night.

This is an excellent movie if you enjoy a light, amusing movie. If you haven’t seen the movie it’s about a couple, newly married, who end up taking in a friend who’s down on his luck. Their friend is a major screw up. Everything he does, he does badly! The friend, Dupree, manages to drive a wedge into the new marriage – first by alienating the bride and then it turns around and he ends up alienating his best friend when the new wife finally starts to understand the screw up named Dupree.

I guess the reason why this movie struck a chord with me is because we had a friend very much like Dupree. A guy who was full of all kinds of ideas of how to make it in life, but never came through on anything.

As far as I know this guy is still living in his small home town with his parents and he must be in his 40’s now.

It was 1998.

Chris and I were living in our very small junior one bedroom apartment. His friend who I had always found loud, obnoxious and irritating called us up and said he’d taken a job working with an Opera company here in Toronto and he needed to come to Toronto every second weekend for a few months in order to attend practices.

Uhm did I mention he’s an opera singer? Yeah well kinda.

When Chris told me I reluctantly agreed. This guy had rubbed me the wrong way even on my wedding day four years earlier! One of my cousins got up and sang an Italian opera song for us – so we’d get up and kiss. It was very sweet. He’d prepared his performance in advance. He’s no opera singer, but he did well and the sentiment was lovely because it was from the heart.

Our friend then got up immediately after my cousin and sang the song again! Of course his version sounded much better because he is an actual opera singer (always out of work!), but I thought it was so cruel of him to do that to my cousin.

You can probably tell that this guy, lets call him Mr. Z, loves the limelight and has no tact.

Back to 1998 … When Mr. Z called to ask if he could stay with us for one night, every second weekend, I reluctantly agreed. That was a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest of my life!

A few days later Mr. Z showed up at our door and stayed the night after going to his opera practice. Mr. Z loves to party and so does my husband … but my husbands pretty good about knowing when to stop when he’s not influenced by his hard partying friends … however when a few particular people are around Chris goes into heavy party mode and doesn’t know when to stop!

Heck, there’s a few people that can put him in party mode just by calling him. His brother is one of them. When his brother calls … even if it’s 2 or 3 in the morning Chris will head for the fridge and get a beer or pour himself some bourbon because he loves drinking with his brother … so in essence they drink together over the phone!

Mr. Z’s first stay with us went ok. I’ll admit that I probably had fun and partied a bit with them too. Mr. Z left the next day and didn’t return again for almost two weeks. Fine … ok, maybe I can live with this … maybe …

We only had one bedroom so Mr. Z had to sleep on the couch when he slept over … unfortunately he was very much a night person and he was/ is very loud so I don’t think we ever got much sleep while he stayed with us.

After a couple visits Mr. Z started coming into town every weekend. I was already tiring of his presence and seeing him every weekend was getting to be a bit too much. I was tired and worn out, and I was beginning to feel like a servant in my own home.

Now do you remember how Dupree in You, Me and Dupree almost burned down the newlyweds house? Well … something like that happened in our apartment too. We have a nice burn hole in our old sectional couch because of him. He liked candles too.

He also broke two glass tables, my make up mirror and an aquarium! I’m pretty sure he broke a number of other things but that’s all I can think of at this moment.

He was costing us money! He ate everything in sight … plus he was the type of guy who would order food but then not have any money when it arrived. Or he’d suggest we go out and always forget his wallet.

I’ll continue the story of our Real Life You, Me and Dupree in the next post – Part II

Filed Under: Family, Home and Lifestyle, Life with Chris, Movies, Relationships and Dating, Socializing, Toronto Tagged With: amusing, beer, broken furniture, brother, burned couch, Canada, Chris, company, could not get rid of house guest, craving attention, Family, friends, house, house guest, husband, irritating, leach, limelight, Money, mother, mother in law, movie, MR Z, opera, opera singer, Party, partying, real life Dupree, real life movie, screw up friend, sister in law, sleep, spotlight, stressed us, tired, Toronto, Wedding, You me and Dupree

The center of the storm

June 20, 2007 by Tricia

160_cfto_storm2_070619.jpg

Uhmmm … remember that storm I was talking about? You know the one that hit Toronto at about 4 pm yesterday? Caused a massive temperature drop … although who could tell with the humidity!

Well … as gusts of rain were whipping past my dining room window like heavy snowfall bringing with it the lids from my garbage cans that had been secured and moving my barbecue down the lane way trees were crashing down on houses only two blocks away!

My area of the city was the worst hit by the storm.

You’ve got to read this CTV news story, and take a look at the photos to see what kind of damage the massive storm caused. There’s a video on the same page that you can watch, but I can’t get it to play on my computer. You might have better luck.

I knew it was a bad storm. I just didn’t realize how bad it truly was nor that I was in the middle of it.

Geez Toronto is like 60 miles across and I had to have all that action in my neighborhood? I’m just thankful it missed us. Our neighbor has a huge maple tree. If it had come down it would have crushed our roof too!

I’ll be taking a look at that tree in the morning to make sure it looks healthy!

I hate storms. Stuff like this just seems to re-enforce my dislike of storms.

Well, at least my gardens got a good watering!

Filed Under: Home and Lifestyle, The Neighborhood, Toronto, Wildlife and Nature Tagged With: bad storm, barbecue, Canada, crushed house, East York, fall, fallen trees, garden, home, house, neighbor, photos, plants, rain, storm, thunder storm, Toronto, trees crushed roof, trees down, Video, watch, water, wind storm

What a storm!

June 19, 2007 by Tricia

There’s a furious thunder and lightening storm going on right now.

It started about half an hour ago when I was trying to complete a post on another one of my sites. I kept saving the post in case the power went out – again! The power always seems to go out here when there’s a bad storm.

The wind picked up so fierily when the storm first started that it blew the lids off of two of our garbage containers in the driveway and other items flew to the end of the drive as well.

I actually thought that it might turn into a hail storm.

I took some photos of the rain coming down, but I think I’ll post them later when I’m sure the power won’t fail as I’m transferring. I don’t want to mess up my memory stick!

It was something like 31 Celsius when the storm hit, and with humidity it was about 37 Celsius … in case you don’t know your metric temps that’s very very hot! It’s now cooled down to 20 Celsius! (about 70 F). That’s quite a drop in a short period of time isn’t it?

It’s actually going to be on the cool side tonight and tomorrow will be a reasonable summer day temperature wise.

The rain has slowed now, but I can still see lightening and there’s the occasional crash of thunder in the distance. It could come back.

I hate storms in case you can’t tell. Especially when they happen as I’m trying to get some work done.

Go away storm!

Filed Under: Home and Lifestyle, Recreation, The Neighborhood, Toronto, Wildlife and Nature Tagged With: blowing, computer work, cool, hate, lightening, photos, pouring, power, power failure, rain, rain storm, saving post, storm, Summer, thunder, thunder storm, windy, Writing

Street people take Visa?

June 8, 2007 by Tricia

Last night, after my brothers and sister, Chris and I finished dinner we were walking back towards my brothers hotel we found that the streets were crowded with partiers.

Everyone was lined up to get into the hot night clubs, or walking the street after seeing a movie, leaving restaurants as we were and so on.

As we made our way down one of the busy streets we passed a street person. He was sitting on the ground with a sign in his lap. We’d already been approached by street people even as we ate at the restaurants outdoor patio … and yes we did give some money to those who looked like they needed it, but not to all.

This particular street person was sitting on the ground near a light pole. He called out as we walked by “I accept credit card payments! I have a family to feed you know!”.

We couldn’t help but laugh, picturing a street persons Visa business address – 5th pole at Front and Adelaide, and pictured him with one of those Visa machines that make an impression of the card number.

Only in Toronto!

Now to be clear I’m not laughing at this guy. I thought it was a great way to catch our attention. Obviously it worked. LOL

Filed Under: Canada, Culture, Entertainment, Family, Recreation, Toronto Tagged With: asking for money, begging, brother, business, Canada, Chris, credit, dinner, Family, giving out money, hotel, night, restaurant, sister, street people, street person, Toronto, work

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