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Random acts of kindness

May 7, 2006 by Tricia

My husband and I went out shopping when he came home from work yesterday afternoon. Actually it was more like evening – he needed a rest when he arrived home and spent a couple of hours in the backyard talking to all of our neighbors. The nickname I have for him certainly suits him – Sir Talkalot. We didn’t hit the road until about 5:30 p.m..


Off we went. First to a hardware store to pick up some more items for all of our on going renovation projects. I really don’t know if we’ll ever have this house finished. Some days it doesn’t feel like it. Then we went to the grocery store so that I could pick up all the ingredients that I needed for my grilled veggie recipe. Chris then decided that we needed to get some beer, and while we were going there way anyway, I decided that I wanted to get some wine to use to marinade the chicken with that I was planning to have with our BBQ that night.

When we pulled into the Beer Store (in most of Canada we have Government run beer and Liquor stores) we noticed a man standing near the entrance playing the guitar and singing. He was obviously playing for money. He wasn’t a street person, but he was someone that looked like he’d had a hard life, and was either pulling himself back onto his feet, or who was at great risk of losing everything.

Since my husband is an accomplished guitarist we’ve both developed a good ear for music and for other musicians talent, and it was obvious that this man knew what he was doing. He was playing quite well.

As we sat in the car we both looked down at the little storage compartment in the car, where a glass finger slide has sat for oh, approximately one year. My husband bought it and quickly discovered that it was too slim for his thick fingers, and that he wasn’t going to be able to use it for playing slide guitar. It was placed in the car with it’s receipt to be returned, but of course, never was taken back to the store. My husband has a habit of buying things and not returning them. When we are renovating he often buys one or two extra of whatever item we are working with at the time, just in case we need it or in case he makes a bad cut in a piece of wood for example. Unfortunately at least 2/3 of these items never get back to the store that we purchased them from because he either misplaces the receipt or just doesn’t do it. Luckily we’ll find a use for many of the extra items at some point. I hope!

At least we found a use for the too small slide! We got out of the car and approached the street musician. While he played my husband held up the glass slide, and sort of put it near the mans fingers as he played. The man had no idea what Chris was doing. Chris was actually measuring the thickness of the mans fingers to see if he could use the slide, but the man thought Chris was just showing it to him.

Chris and I talked with the man for a few minutes and he accepted the slide. His brother was nearby and he was also a guitar player, who happened to have experience playing slide guitar. Eventually Chris went into the beer store and I walked a little ways down the street to the liquor store where I bought not one bottle of wine, but three! No, I’m not a lush. Really.

My husband was supposed to meet me in the liquor store but he never made it. I arrived back at the entrance of the beer store to find him with his foot propped up on the newly purchased case of beer playing the mans guitar. We both felt good about having given away the too small slide. The street performer appreciated the gift, and who knows perhaps he’ll be able to expand his repertoire and earn a little bit more money by using his gift.

We aren’t always generous with street people but I think we stop and give them change more often than many people do. In fact, as I came out of the liquor store with my three bottles of wine, did I say that two of them were large bottles?, there was a man selling ” street news” outside the store, so I stopped and gave him one of our Canadian clunky $2 coins (twoonies we call them).

Actually, when I stop and think about it we’ve given away a lot of money this week. My brother was in town visiting from Vancouver, and we spent last Monday evening downtown with him, his wife and my sister. We must have given change to at least 4 people that evening. Oh and my sister-in-law gave an odd gift to our waiter. His back was very sore, you could see how much pain he was in as he served us or stooped to pick something off the floor. We called him over and we asked him if he wanted something for his pain. I happened to have my pain pills with me, but they are very strong and I likely wouldn’t have felt comfortable giving out such a strong medicine to a stranger, however she had some Tylenol #3’s on her and gave him two. By the time we were leaving the restaurant the waiter was feeling much better.

We had a couple more trips downtown and to the airport this week, and as we drove under the highway underpass, and through the downtown streets we occasionally encountered street people or ‘Squeegee people’ (ones who try to wash your car windows) when we were stopped at lights. I think we gave change to most of the ones that made it to our car window before the lights changed.

I’m glad we don’t go right downtown too often or else we’d really be broke. My husband would give money to everyone with a cup that he encountered if I let him! I’m a little more cautious, and or selective about who I give money to. I find that once you start, the other people see what you are doing and flock around you if you are in an area that has a lot of street people. Kind of like pigeons when you think about it. When I give out change I try to pick people that look like they really need it.

Another random act of kindness that we occasionally perform is giving out parking passes. If our parking tickets or passes still have time left on them when we are about to leave, and we see someone parking in a lot, or on the street, we’ll often walk up to the driver and give them our pass. Most people are so surprised when we do this. A half an hour or more of free parking? Thanks stranger!

Have you done any random acts of kindness lately? Given away an unusual item to a stranger who might need it? Carried someones groceries to the car? Anything that put a smile on another persons face just because it was so unexpected?

How do you feel about street people? Do you occasionally give change to ones that you pass regularly or who look needy?

When Chris and I finally reached home yesterday evening we enjoyed a nice meal of Shiraz marinated grilled chicken breasts, grilled veggies in a Dijon vinaigrette, rice and salad. Mmmm it was so good. Our last random act of kindness was that we shared it with our boarder. Ok, we have to feed him, that’s part of the deal, but it sounded good when I wrote it.





Filed Under: Home and Lifestyle, Life with Chris, Shopping, Toronto Tagged With: beauty, Canada, change, Chris, crohns, Fashion, guitar, Health and Fitness, Health Fitness and Beauty, Home and Lifestyle, husband, IBD, Inflammatory bowel disease, Life with Chris, pain, person, random acts of kindness, Shopping, slide guitar, street people, Toronto

Toilet paper Culture Clash!

May 5, 2006 by Tricia

We’ve had a South Korean student staying with us for over a month now, and while I realized there were a number of differences between our North American habits and his Korean culture I didn’t think it was too much of a problem. However, Thursday evening I discovered just how vast the cultural gap really is.

I was in the washroom and I happened to look down at the garbage can and to my horror I saw used streaked toilet paper sitting in it. What the heck? So I walked back downstairs and met up with my husband in the kitchen. “Go upstairs and look in the garbage and tell me if that’s what I think it is, would you?”

Chris looked at me strangely, and I said ” I think it’s used T.P., go look.” So off he went to check the garbage can. From upstairs I heard him say ” Oh my god it is!” and “Oh, that’s gross!” Meanwhile the boarder is in his room right next door to the washroom, and while I’m sure he must have heard Chris I have no idea if he clued into what Chris was talking about at the time.

Chris came back down stairs into the living room where I was waiting for him and he said with a most horrified look on his face “that’s just crazy!”. I tried to reassure him that it was probably something cultural. Gross to us, but probably not crazy. We decided to speak with him after dinner about it. Well, we actually decided that I would conveniently leave the room so that Chris could talk to him man to man, which would probably be less embarrassing for our boarder.

Since our boarder moved in over a month ago I must admit that I have been seeing neatly folded, but thick bundles of T.P. or what I thought might be a lot of Kleenex in the waste basket. I wondered about it, but then he got a cold about two weeks ago and I guess I figured it was from him blowing his nose (with a lot of t.p.?). I guess I was wrong, huh?

My husband had a very short talk with our tenant while I was out of the room. I don’t know exactly what was said but when I asked Chris how he reacted he said that he’d apologized and stated that, that is what he did at home. So it was cultural after all. I did a Google search. Here’s a strange one for you “Korean puts used toilet paper in garbage instead of toilet” to see what I might find, and the search did confirm my borders habit.

This might explain why I’ve been seeing ants in the washroom upstairs.

We’ve only had ants in the house once since we moved in and they were in the kitchen. They were coming in from the enclosed back porch where we kept the recycling. We solved this problem by keeping the recycling outside during the warmer months when ants and other bugs are active. So I was surprised to see ants in the house again this year, and upstairs of all places.

Our boarder carries a knapsack with him when he goes to school. He also smokes. So I thought maybe he might be bringing his knapsack outside with him, and placing it on the ground, when he took smoke breaks at school and accidentally bring home some extra passengers in the form of ants as a result. However they are getting in, I now know what’s been attracting them to the bathroom. Time to set some ant traps out.

We’ve been trying to get to know our boarder and spend some time with him each evening when we sit down to dinner and occasionally watch T.V. together afterwards. We’ve asked him if the food we are serving tasted good or if there is something else he might prefer. He always states that the food is good and that he likes it, but I’m not sure if he’s just being polite or if he’s being truthful. I know my cooking is excellent pretty good, but the food we eat in North America is quite different than what he ate in South Korea. The only thing that we’ve discovered that he doesn’t really care for is asparagus.

We have also tried to ask him about what life is like in South Korea, and while we get little snippets of information here and there we haven’t heard enough to discover how different it is from life in Canada.

If there are any people from, or, who are originally from South Korea who can give me some more information on Korean culture and it’s differences from North American culture I’d appreciate it.

When we asked him about this months rent, on Tuesday, he didn’t seem to know what we were talking about. His English is getting to be fairly good so I’m sure it wasn’t a language barrier that was causing his confusion. He almost seemed to act like he didn’t think he had to pay rent yet, or again. Perhaps he called the agency that put us together the next day and did discover that he needs to pay rent each month, because we finally got the rent on Thursday evening.

The toilet paper stuff really threw us. Do we have any more surprises in store? Please tell me if I do because I’d like to either deal with them before they become an issue or before I get another nasty surprise. I now know that putting used T.P. in the waste basket is something that is commonly done in South Korea, but it was a bit of a culture shock to discover it in my own bathroom! Yuck.

Filed Under: Borders, Culture, Home and Lifestyle, Recreation, Socializing Tagged With: accident, boarder, Borders, Canada, cooking, Culture, differences, dinner, Garbage bin, home, Home and Lifestyle, house, husband, information, kids, kitchen, North America, Paper, South Korea, strange, talk, toilet, waste basket

Thursday Thirteen

May 4, 2006 by Tricia

Thirteen Things about TRICIA in the GARDEN

1…. I think I sprained my ankle today. It hurts when I walk on it or move it but it’s not swollen or bruised. Yet.

2…. I did it running after a RAT!
3…. Yep, it seems we have a few Rats in the neighborhood. Probably some human ones, but I’m talking about the cute brown ones.
4…. Yes I actually thought the rats were kind of cute compared to the pigeons that flock to our yard anyway, at least the rats are smart.
5…. I had thrown some left over French fries into the backyard for the birds or squirrels to eat. They like their junk food too. Apparently rats also love French fries.
6…. It was amusing to watch the rat in the middle of the yard, French fry in mouth, pat at one of the small birds (House Wren?) with it’s paws as if telling it to get away from it’s fries.
7…. When I’d had enough of seeing the rat sneaking back and forth from yard to hidey hole in the neighbors yard I ran at it to try to scare it and that’s when I twisted my ankle.
8…. Now, I suppose we’ll have to do something to get rid of the rats. One neighbor suggested rat traps, but my hubby and I are such animal lovers I can just see us looking at a dead animal in a trap and bursting out in tears at what we’d done. Any suggestions?
9…. Speaking of neighbors, my husband met one of ours on the street when she was bringing her child home from daycare and invited her into the backyard. I don’t know why but I dislike this woman. There are very few people in this world that I dislike, only three that I can think of at this moment, and for some unknown reason she’s one of them. The other two I have good reason to dislike.
10…. This neighbor brought her 20 month old daughter into the yard and let her loose. I was the one running after the kid, worrying that she’d fall on our landscaping stones and hurt her head. Mom was too busy rattling off why she’d been fired from her last job to care.
11…. Then the little girl started trying to pick the flowers. Fine I don’t mind a few damaged flowers or even some of my flowers being picked.
12…. But the little girl also started EATING the flowers! Luckily they were tulip petals, which I was pretty sure at the time were non-toxic, but did check on again on the computer when they finally left. It was kind of funny because the little girl was chewing on them like they were the greatest snack, however, I kept cautioning the mom to not let her eat the flowers as I wasn’t sure if they were safe or not.
13…. Now I’m hoping that I’m right and the tulip petals were fine and that the child is fine … otherwise I’m sure this woman wouldn’t hesitate to sue. Aarrrgh! Stupid people!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
Please only list your link if you have a current Thursday Thirteen Posting, Thanks.

Filed Under: Socializing, The Neighborhood, Thursday Thirteen, Tricia's Garden, Wildlife and Nature Tagged With: flower eater, Socializing, sprained ankle, super soaker, The Neighborhood, Thursday Thirteen, Tricia in the Garden. rat, Tricia's Garden, Wildlife and Nature

Mothers Day

May 2, 2006 by Tricia

Valencia Rose from my Garden

Mother’s Day is just around the corner on May 14th. It is a day where we take some time to thank the person that brought us into this world and/or cared for us when we were young, and even when we are grown up. How do you plan to celebrate the occasion? Are you a mother who is expecting a treat or gifts? Or do you plan to visit your own mother and make her day special?

My mother has unfortunately passed on, and this day makes me somewhat sad. When my mother was alive though, we would always try to get together with her and either cook her a wonderful dinner or take her out someplace special. I miss her, but I will remember all the good things about her on that day.

My husbands mother is still around. I’m not sure what we are doing yet. I know we are all getting together the following weekend since my husbands brother is coming for a visit from Chicago. I’m looking forward to that. Tim is so fun to be around. I’m sure we’ll get into some kind of trouble! He likes to party.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Mothers day and on how you plan on celebrating it.

Flowers are always a great gift idea for Mothers day – I found a great site on the internet with exceptional selections of Mothers day flowers and Mothers day gift ideas called DotFlowers. Their Monticello Rose Bouquet or Abundant Glory Arrangements are beautiful and sure to impress.

I remember reading a post a while back that argued that not all mothers deserve to have this special day in honor of them because they are not or were not good mothers. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this as to why your mother does or doesn’t deserve this special day of honor.

Filed Under: Family, Gardening, Shopping Tagged With: Family, flowers, Gifts, Home and Lifestyle, mother, Mothers Day, Shopping, special, Special Day

May the Force be with you

May 1, 2006 by Tricia

I’ve spent the last three days with my immediate family and I’ve come to the realization that we all have a very unique sense of humor, and it seems that my niece has inherited it. Petra and Kris- First Dance

My very first niece got married this weekend.

It was the first marriage of a niece or nephew from within my family, the first from her mothers side, and from her new grooms family too, so it was very special. But of course all weddings are special.

I really wasn’t sure how I’d feel about her wedding.

I hadn’t mentioned this before but for some reason I really don’t like weddings.

I think that’s probably fairly rare for a woman to feel that way, but I do. I don’t know why I feel this way either, but weddings tend to make me feel sad.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy for Petra and I’m sure she’s going to have a long and happy marriage because her new husband is just the nicest man and head over heals in love with her.

I was also very excited to be going to her wedding, but I think I thought I’d feel sad at her wedding. My parents have both passed away in the last few years and I thought this would contribute to my emotions, because I know they would have loved nothing more than to see our beautiful Petey get married.

But I was wrong! I had the best time.

I was a bit emotional when I first saw her walking down the aisle on my brothers arm, but it was pure happiness for her. She was just gorgeous too! I don’t have any children of my own yet, and due to my illness there is a chance that I never will. So I suppose I feel that all my nephews and nieces are my babies too.

Maybe that’s why this wedding didn’t make me feel sad, and instead made me feel so happy. A very special person within my family was starting life with her new husband.

The wedding took place outside at a lovely Country Club. It was sunny but the wind was a little cool. The bride and groom and wedding party stood on a rocky outcropping near a very large pond or perhaps a small lake. Swans swam in the water nearby, and Canadian geese flew in the background. It was as close to perfect as any wedding can be.

I uploaded several pictures to my flickr account if you’d care to view them.

Regarding that unique sense of humor gene that my niece must have inherited? Guess what music they played at the end of the ceremony as they walked down the aisle as husband and wife? The theme from Star Wars! It was the last thing anyone expected and it was hilarious!

Petra didn’t tell her mother before hand what music was going to be played because she was afraid her mom would try to veto it, and she’s probably right.

She’s been a Star Wars fan since she was a child. I’m not sure how she gained her interest since the first three movies were already several years old by the time she was born. Either way, as odd as the music was to hear at the end of a ceremony – it was fitting in it’s own way.

The reception took place at the same Country Club as the ceremony. We were treated to a huge assortment of hor’dourves while the wedding party had photographs taken. Mussels, squid, pastries, salads and on and on. Then we sat down to a dinner that started with a lovely salad, then an entree of roasted chicken, fillet Mignon and vegetables, followed by French pastries.

Near the end of the evening a small room was set up with several types of deserts, assorted fruit and a chocolate fountain. I never made it into the room so I’m not sure what all the goodies were, but I heard they were delicious.

I danced all night. The music was great. I think everyone except my own husband danced that night.

I also felt pretty good up until just before midnight. By this I mean I didn’t feel totally healthy all day, but I felt well enough to let go and enjoy myself. I’m glad that I was able to enjoy myself for most of the evening because I think I really needed to have some fun.

Then midnight rolled around and my tummy decided it had, had enough, so after some lengthy good-byes we left and got back to our hotel room by about 1 a.m. The reception ended at 1:30 anyway, so we didn’t miss much.

The wedding cake wasn’t really a cake at all. Another twist – It was perhaps a couple hundred cupcakes layered on top of each other to look something like a three or four tiered wedding cake.

The following day, Sunday, the immediate family went to my brother and sister-in-laws home. The new bride and groom joined us for brunch and the opening of the gifts.

If you look at the pictures that I uploaded you’ll see some with the bride and groom surrounded by gifts. Many of the gifts in the background of the picture were from the showers that were held prior to the wedding and were already opened, and then there were the wedding gifts.

One of the best gifts was perhaps from my brother Terry and his wife Rene, who live in Vancouver. They gave the new couple a week from their time-share to use for their honeymoon. I thought that was sweet.

Now for the oddest part. The new couple purchased a house about two years ago. A house that was to be built in a new housing development. The home was supposed to be finished by September 2005, then the closing date was pushed back to December, then I believe May 2006. Well … it’s still not finished. The new completion date is sometime in July!

I suppose it doesn’t make too much sense for the new couple to rent a place for only a couple of months before their home is complete (if it ever is), so they are going to continue on as they have been doing for the last year. By this I mean the groom will continue to live at his parents house, and my niece Petra will continue to live at her parents home.

Petra would occasionally go to Kris’ parents and stay there for a few days each week, and I guess that will continue, but until their home is complete they will not officially be living together as a couple.

This just doesn’t seem right. I can see a delay of perhaps as much as two months for a newly built home, but 10 months or more? No way.

I’ll save my tale of this evenings events for tomorrows posting.

Filed Under: Culture, Family, Photography, Socializing, Toronto Tagged With: beautiful, brother, camera, Canada, canadian, Culture, Cup Cakes, digital camera, dinner, Family, friend, friends, home, house, Humor, husband, Kris, life, Music, Party, Petra, Photography, sister, Socializing, Star Wars, sunday, Toronto, Wedding, weekend

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