In an interview for Allure’s May issue Lindsay Lohan discusses her stay at Wonderland, the West Hollywood rehab facility that she stayed at earlier this year. She says she felt safe there. Back in January, she say that she awoke to a house surrounded by paparazzi on both ground and air.

Her therapist suggested that she go to Wonderland in the Laurel Canyon, and she agreed once she knew that the paparazzi was kept out.

When she arrived at the facility she found “a quiet room, all white, with parquet, and it was different! I just felt safe,” she says. “I thought, ‘I’m going to stay here tonight.’ And I stayed there. For a month. It was great.”

Still, she reflects with reluctance, “It’s so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab.” And, despite attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for more than a year, she says, “I don’t know that I’m necessarily an addict.”

Lohan says that she feels like a protector to her three younger siblings because she came from a fractured family.

“I feel like a second parent in the sense that I helped raise my family,” she says, admitting to a being especially watchful over Ali. “The fact that my sister is not here – I’m kind of angry with her. Because it freaks me out.” Ali was at home with a headache at the time of the interview.

“When my friends and family are around me, I feel like they’re safe,” Lohan says. “The craziest things can happen, but it’s OK.”