Hey! Yeah, you, sitting there sipping your drink, looking bored while you wait to surf onward, yes, that’s you right? You see that box in the upper right hand corner of the page? The rent me now box? Yeah, you do? CLICK ON IT. You won’t be sorry!

And them come back, ‘k?

Serpents on the loose!

Dan McBride, the assistant athletic director at Eastern Kentucky University found a two-foot-long ball python in his rental car this week as he left the Ohio Valley Conference baseball tournament in Paducah.

McBride got into his car with a colleague and saw the snake draped across the console. McBride said he thought it was a rubber snake someone put there as a joke. He even gave the snake a pat and put the car into drive.

As he drove toward the exit, the snake lifted its head. McBride hit the brakes, then started to get out of the car. But the snake was on the gear shift, forcing McBride to keep his foot on the brake. “You can’t act tough when you are sitting a foot and a half away from a snake,” said his colleague, Simon Gray.

Want to make sure you get what you want when you are seriously ill?
Get a Tattoo!

Dyersville, Iowa – Inking a lover’s name on your skin is one of the big ‘no-no’s of common tattoo practice. There is, however, nothing in the books about getting a tattoo of an advance directive.

For the non-medical laypeople (and those unfamiliar with Terri Schiavo), an individual’s advanced directive or ‘living will’ is a document that specifies certain medical decisions in advance, usually including whether or not the person: a) wants to remain on life support, and b) wishes to be resuscitated.

To supplement the legal document rigmarole, 80-year old retired nurse Mary Wohlford indelibly marked “Do Not Resuscitate” on her chest. Wohlford carried out this stunt with her typical audacious aplomb, not only talking the reluctant bunch at Gary’s Professional Tattooing Studio into inking the tattoo, but also scoring a Senior Citizen discount.

The tattoo alone is not likely to be officially binding, but for Wohlford, the additional reassurance is quite likely priceless.

Just Gross …

In 2001 a bulimic woman in Toyoda, Japan, had been caught illegally dumping about 60 pounds a week of her own vomit in remote locations and, in 2003, that another bulimic woman had been caught discarding similar quantities near Madison, Wis. (perhaps, say health professionals, to assist their denial process by keeping their own homes untainted).

In April 2006, sheriff’s deputies reported a similar spree, ironically near an Iowa town called Mount Pleasant, that has now totaled about 50 bags’ worth over a three-year period, but at press time, the vomiter was still at large.

Sorry I know that was disgusting! Can you imagine storing vomit for a week before dumping it. Nooooooo!