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Gnome away from Home

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funny gnome

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. The roaming gnome is writing home. Allen Snyder’s garden gnome disappeared from his Morgantown, West Virginia, yard in the spring. Since then he’s gotten three letters, supposedly from “Gnomey.”

The latest has a picture of the missing lawn ornament at the Pittsburgh Steelers home opener. And Gnomey wants to know why his owner never took him to any games. Snyder says he has no idea who swiped his gnome, but he suspects it might be one of his gag-loving friends.

A previous letter from Gnomey showed him in the back of a police car and asked for bail money. Snyder says he doesn’t know where Gnomey will turn up next.






Incompetence

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toiletstolen

From an Atlanta police report, summarized in a July issue of the weekly Creative Loafing:

A man working on a house on Smith Street was taken to Grady Memorial Hospital with serious injuries to his posterior. He happened to be bending over next to a wall that, unknown to him, a worker on the other side was drilling into, and the drill bit entered his “anal cavity.” (Creative Loafing of Atlanta), July 5, 2006)

New York’s Finest:

Four New York City police were called to an apartment house in July in the Bronx concerning a landlord-tenant dispute, but were distracted by a teenager in the hallway smoking marijuana and started to chase him, when a pit bull attacked the officers. The toll, 26 bullets later: one dead dog, one bitten officer, three other officers wounded by each other’s gunshots. (New York Post, July 24, 2006)

Intoxicated man pays bill with bartender’s checks

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sos

But I found the checkbook – can’t I use it?

STATESBORO, Ga., – A 21-year-old Georgia man was arrested after trying to buy drinks with a checkbook he found at a bar. Unfortunately for Jody Brian Minor of McRae, the checkbook’s owner was the bartender serving him.

Minor was arrested on theft and forgery charges early Saturday morning, Statesboro Police Detective Terry Briley said.

He was “extraordinarily intoxicated,” Briley said. Minor is out on bond, and his case will go before a grand jury in August, Briley said.

Minor was at Dingus Magee’s bar when he found a checkbook and began paying his tab with it, Briley said. One of the bar’s employees realized the checks belonged to a fellow bartender Hubble Beasley, who called police.

Briley said Minor’s father has paid the delinquent $129 bar tab.
What’s happening over at my renters place? Visit the Watercooler to find out what DVDguy is talking about today.

Prevent Car theft and Carjackings

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According to one of the latest reports by the national Insurance Crime Bureau California is home to six of the top ten auto theft locations in the USA.

Nancy Pierce, regional vice president of Geico’s San Diego location offers some tips on how to prevent your car from being stolen:

1. Always keep your keys on you and don’t leave them in the car at any time.

2. No matter how hot it is keep your windows closed when the vehicle is empty and keep your car locked at all times- even while driving.

3. Don’t leave valuables inside the car where they can be seen. Purchase should be locked in the trunk if you are not able to take them home immediately.

4. Park in well lit areas busy areas especially in the evening or over night as thieves do most of their work at night. Turning your wheels toward the curb or parking near some kind of obstruction will make it harder for criminals to tow your car away.

5. Car jackers commonly use a technique called “Bump and Rob”. They will bump your car from behind and then rob you of your items or steal your car when you get out to inspect the damage that the bump caused. If your car is bumped drive to a busy area or use your cell phone to call for help if you don’t feel that it’s safe to get out of the car. Always leave room in front of your vehicle to manover around the car ahead of you when stopped at traffic lights.

6. Insurers often offer discounts when anti-theft systems are used in your vehicle. You might try using and ignition cut off system which will prevent your car from being started; a steering wheel lock; or a passive alarm

7. In garages, parking lots and gas stations always take a good look around at the vehicles and people around you and your car. If you don’t feel safe get someone to accompany you to your car, or if you are still in your vehicle stay inside with the doors locked.

8. Hide your vehicle registration or title in a secret location that only the car owner knows.

9. Etch the cars VIN number on each window.

10. Do not resist if you are confronted by a carjacker. Your car can be replaced.

11. Travel the safest routes by using maps and try to avoid high crime areas.

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