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Thief drops pot in Court

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Nineteen year old Devin K Hoerauf was attending court in Rockville, MD, to answer to charges of multiple robbery.

As he stood up at the defense table something fell out of his pocket. It turns out the something was a bag full of marijuana.

His lawyer, quick to jump to his defense said ” “He is brain-damaged, your honor,” she said. “I don’t mean he’s just a defendant who does dumb stuff. This is a boy with an IQ in triple digits. His brain is glued together with Silly Putty. He can’t think his way out of a paper bag, but he can do physics.” The lawyer, Gwyn Hoerauf, apparently knows: she’s the defendant’s mother.

The jury missed the marijuana incident, but they still ended up convicting the teen on four robbery counts.






Thief wants reference from former employer

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Karen madden, 38, who confessed to stealing $550,000 worth of jewelry and handbags from the residence of her former boss, who is the chancellor of the state’s college system, is going to trial in Harrisburg, Pa.

Oddly enough, she seems to think that she’s still worthy of asking for a work reference “Just for the work part?” from the Chancellor who is testifying at a hearing this coming July on the charges. She asked him when she’d recently called him to apologize. Now that girl has balls, doesn’t she?

Man way over limit fights with gas pump

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Recently police in Madison, Wis., said Milo G. Chamberlain’s blood-alcohol content was .425, which experts said usually is attainable only by those either dead or in a coma.

But he was picked up, quite conscious, allegedly causing a disturbance at a gas station, where he reportedly got into a fight with a gas pump before being restrained by passers-by.

Well you know he was out of it if he was fighting with a gas pump! Even if he really should have been in a coma with that blood alcohol level!

Oops! They were the wrong size

Department store assistants in the Hainan province of China were surprised to discover that a pair of trousers that had been stolen on Sunday reappeared when they took stock Monday evening, though another pair of trousers in another size were missing.

Authorities suspect that a thief stole a pair of trousers from the store but later found that they didn’t fit him, and then proceeded to return to the department store and switch them with a second pair.

Though no arrests have been made, police suspect a man in his 30s who had “tried on many trousers in their store in the past two days, but failed to buy any.” Currently an investigation is underway.

That thief has guts – steal the pants once, return them and steal yet another pair? I guess he really wanted that style.

Thief identified by butt crack

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Maybe this will become a new CSI technique:

Robert Russel Moore, 33, was sentenced to 10 years in prison for the burglary of an Arby’s in Prince Frederick, Md this past October. Moore was the assistant manager of the restaurant and was identified by clues from the surveillance tape.

Employees of the Arby’s said they recognized the burglar’s body shape, clothing and, when he bent over, the distinctive top portion of his buttocks, as being those of Moore. The owner of the restaurant said he had had to counsel Moore “more than once” about the inadvertent exposure of his butt crack.

First of all, why would this guy rob the store he worked at as an assistant manager? and two- if he is so “identifiable” why risk it? Lets call him the butt crack robber shall we.

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