{"id":235,"date":"2006-11-05T17:15:57","date_gmt":"2006-11-05T22:15:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/2006\/11\/05\/naughty-lola-weird-personals\/"},"modified":"2011-10-01T18:44:31","modified_gmt":"2011-10-01T22:44:31","slug":"naughty-lola-weird-personals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/2006\/11\/05\/naughty-lola-weird-personals\/","title":{"rendered":"Naughty Lola Weird personals"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--CusAds--><p>The London Review of Books published a compendium of the weirdest and funniest advertisements from the eccentric readers who write to it&#8217;s personal column in seek of love, sex, or friendship with like minded people.  You know- serial embezzlers, beardy physicists known as Naughty Lola, or self-harming flautists.<\/p>\n<div class=\"b1291d92551e5c93995fce7897ccfc30\" data-index=\"2\" style=\"float: right; margin:10px 0 10px 10px;\">\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\r\ngoogle_ad_client = \"pub-3375789278566919\";\r\n\/* OddPlanet_300x250_inpost *\/\r\ngoogle_ad_slot = \"3290981241\";\r\ngoogle_ad_width = 300;\r\ngoogle_ad_height = 250;\r\n\/\/-->\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"\r\nsrc=\"http:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/show_ads.js\">\r\n<\/script>\n<\/div>\n\n<p>The book is called &#8220;They call me Naughty Lola&#8221;, and it proves that the English are not all stiff-upper lip with this strange collection.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s an example of what you might find in <em>Naughty Lola<\/em>:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Woman, 32, needful of the finer things in life seeks stinking rich bloke, 80-100,&#8221; one ad says. &#8220;Must be willing to fibrillate his ventricles when he becomes tiresome or bankrupt or both. Also interesting thirtysomethings for illicit, immoral affair to be conducted concurrently with the above.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Or maybe this guy&#8217;s more your style?  &#8220;Bald, short, fat and ugly male, 53 seeks short-sighted woman with tremendous sexual appetite.&#8221;<\/p><!--CusAds-->\n<p>The column began in 1988 and was meant to be a genuine lonely hearts column, however after his first submission arrived &#8211; &#8220;67-year-old disaffiliated flaneur picking my toothless way through the urban sprawl, self-destructive, sliding towards pathos, jacked up on Viagra and on the lookout for a contortionist who plays the trumpet.&#8221; David Rose, the columns creator, decided to create his column as a a notice board for the strange, hilarious and downright bizarre.<\/p>\n<!--CusAds--><p>Surprisingly entries such as &#8211; &#8220;You were reading the BBC in-house magazine on the Jubilee Line (12 November). I was coughing hot tea through my nostrils. Surely you can&#8217;t have forgotten? Write now to smitten, weak-kneed, severely burnt, bumbling F (32, but normally I look younger). I&#8217;ll be quite a catch when my top lip has healed. And this brace isn&#8217;t forever.&#8221; have often resulted in marriages, children, at least one divorce and countless liaisons.<\/p>\n<div class=\"b1291d92551e5c93995fce7897ccfc30\" data-index=\"9\" style=\"float: none; margin:10px 0 10px 0; text-align:center;\">\n<br\/>\r\n<div align=\"center\">\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"><!--\r\ngoogle_ad_client = \"pub-3375789278566919\";\r\n\/* OddPlanet_300x250_underpost *\/\r\ngoogle_ad_slot = \"8431788844\";\r\ngoogle_ad_width = 300;\r\ngoogle_ad_height = 250;\r\n\/\/-->\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\"\r\nsrc=\"http:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/show_ads.js\">\r\n<\/script>\r\n<br\/>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<br\/>\r\n\r\n<?php if ( is_search() || is_single() || is_page() || is_paged() || is_category() || is_archive() ) { ?>\r\n<div align=\"center\">\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\n  ( function() {\r\n    if (window.CHITIKA === undefined) { window.CHITIKA = { 'units' : [] }; };\r\n    var unit = {\"calltype\":\"async[2]\",\"publisher\":\"dragonden\",\"width\":550,\"height\":250,\"sid\":\"oddplanet\",\"color_site_link\":\"cf4343\",\"color_text\":\"333333\"};\r\n    var placement_id = window.CHITIKA.units.length;\r\n    window.CHITIKA.units.push(unit);\r\n    document.write('<div id=\"chitikaAdBlock-' + placement_id + '\"><\/div>');\r\n}());\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"\/\/cdn.chitika.net\/getads.js\" async><\/script>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<?php } ?>\r\n<br\/>\r\n<br\/>\n<\/div>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 0px; height: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 0; padding: 0; clear: both;\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The London Review of Books published a compendium of the weirdest and funniest advertisements from the eccentric readers who write to it&#8217;s personal column in seek of love, sex, or friendship with like minded people. You know- serial embezzlers, beardy physicists known as Naughty Lola, or self-harming flautists. The book is called &#8220;They call me [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[27,7],"tags":[504,616,610,226,249,750,144,407,492,416,751,752,79,208,200,753,754,231,80,81,755,157],"class_list":{"0":"post-235","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-entertainment","7":"category-humor","8":"tag-ban","9":"tag-bank","10":"tag-book","11":"tag-bum","12":"tag-child","13":"tag-collect","14":"tag-collection","15":"tag-english","16":"tag-friends","17":"tag-house","18":"tag-london","19":"tag-naughty-lola","20":"tag-odd","21":"tag-people","22":"tag-pet","23":"tag-sex","24":"tag-sexual","25":"tag-sing","26":"tag-strange","27":"tag-weird","28":"tag-weird-personals","29":"tag-woman","30":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feverishthoughts.com\/oddplanet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}